Ngayon, gusto ko magsulat ng magsulat ng magsulat, matulog, gumawa ng kung ano, umiyak, tumalon, ibaon ang sarili, pumunta sa kung saan tahimik, maghibernate!!! Sa makatuwid, di ko alam gagawin ko! But on the other side, what really causes this feeling? I was so... kinda lost, kinda hurt. You know the feeling na yung ang sikip sikip ng dibdib mo and you wanna take it out and say, calm down. Yet, it is impossible. I'm hurt so much. No matter how I convince myself that it's fine, it really isn't. I do not know who to turn to cause the person that I LOVE THE MOST, the person THAT I TRUST THE MOST is the same person giving me this feeling. Hindi ko alam kung kanino ako magkukwento, kanino ko isasandal yung ulo ko at huminga ng malalim at sabihin mga nararamdaman ko. I need someone that'll tell, convince, and fool me that it's ok. I can't prevent myself saying all I am feeling. Hay... Is there someone, anyone there that could help me lessen what I am feeling. When you trust someone with all your heart and understanding, you'll be very disappointed to know that the someone you are trusting don't trust you. One more thing, am I not really understanding para hindi KA magpaalam sakin or even consider me at least when making decision? I demand for some consideration, too! Bakit ganito kasakit yun para sakin? Gusto mo malaman? Because I love YOU and I think I am the second one that I love YOU the most, next to GOD! Sana hindi na ito maulit, pakiusap lang. Sana wala na ding taguan, I don't hide anything sayo, I demand the same! Kung pwede lang! Lumuluhod ako at nagmamakaawa! Look, my tears just dripping down my chick, falling on the keyboard of my laptop. Glad my keyboard's spill-proof!
In times like this, all I really want is to kill myself. And speaking of killing myself. Before writing this, I went in front of the gym where she's at, driving the motorcycle so mad with the headlight off. How I really wish kanina na sana sumalpok ako sa kung saan o mag-crash. Mahina ako pagdating sa mga ganito. Why I Keep on experiencing this? I love life, I really love life, but in times like this, I want to end my life!!! : (
Can someone give me tissue? I'm so hurt!!!
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