I wanna ignore the outside world and close my eyes so I can be with myself alone, but I cannot do it for she is a part of it and I can't live without her.

It is far difficult this time, but I do not hate this feeling, in fact I love it. there are so many things that happened lately and I thank God so much because those are the rare whiles that i consider myself special. She not once fails to feel that i am special and loved. i wanna spend every sunset with her and eat my every breakfast with her. I have so many questions why i am feeling this but the bottom line is that, there is only one answer.... Love! and if i still ask why, love doesn't need any reason.

Often, i find myself thinking about the future. the future that really scares me, is she still with me many years from now? Will she still love me tomorrow? I hate thinking of those things but fear is just an illusion. Always find myself late at night thinking of her. whenever we talk or just in txt, all i wanna say is that how much I lover Her, though sometimes i think she don't wanna be informed about it again and again, still, I want it. Honestly, frankly saying, this time, she is the only reason that guides me to something.

The biggest question that i have is "Is everything between the two of us gonna be the same tomorrow?"

Random Thoughts...

This gradually changing as how i am feeling it. I am losing the courage, the wit, the ability to do those things i must do. I do not know what is happening, all i know is that i am sinking. Maybe because I trusted myself too much back then, that's why I am feeling/experiencing this. Now that i lost my trust to myself, i still don't see nor feel that somehow I am going up. I must erase the thinking that I have something that others don't have so that i can blend in the environment to cheat the force that pulling me down. I maybe boasts a thing that i do not have from the first place, that's why I trusted myself so. I may always laugh, smile, but can't scape the truth and I hate but must face it. What should I do now?