Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Change, yes it is constant...

Last night was perhaps the saddest night of our relationship. Honestly, I never really thought that you can do it. I was so hurt, so hurt that I cried like a baby, so hurt that I banged my head on the wall. I trusted you, yes i really did. In fact I trusted you more than I trusted anyone else. It's a pity for us that even the most basic "don'ts" in a relationship must be argued by both of us so as to be perfectly understood. That even the simplest things that you fully know I wont want should first be a very big deal so as to keep you reminded. Maybe I should be the one to be blamed here and no one else. Again, I have been reminded for the 4th time how inadequate I am, that I could never be a perfect man for you. I have been given the idea that there is a tendency that you, after so many years that we've been together, through so many ups and downs of life, could turn your back away from me in search of someone else. Maybe that is the most painful thing a guy could feel. Actually, there came a point that I ask myself if you are still the one I have known almost 7 years ago. If you are still the girl I fell in love with, the kindest, most sensitive, ever-loving girl I met. Change, they say it's constant. There is nothing wrong with change, just change for better.

We, guys, are not numb. Though I make you feel that I am strong, deep in side I am not. You think about me having heart of stone, but if you look closer you will see my heart is made of cotton, very absorbent, light and sensitive. I cannot take anything that life throws at me, I also have my limits. It's sad, it's hurting, disappointing, and scary! I hope, I just hope that I can get back the assurance that you once gave me, the assurance that what ever happens, wherever life may take us, promise that you will always love me. I love YOU and I don't wanna lose you!

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