I might be weak,but not coward

There were no days during those times that i did not worry. Empathy is not shown on texts and calls, because i rather had myself in solitude that talking to you, hearing your voice while thinking pano na lang kung? I really could not stand the blame if it happened. I never left you  alone. I never did! Please don't get me wrong when i chose silence. it doesn't mean that I am a deserter. Everyday, twice or once, i go to church, knell before Him asking for another chance. I did not pray only for myself, but for my parents and of course for your dreams. I'd better be perished than seeing you distantly looking at your dreams, with your hands outstretch. I don't wanna hear your voice because those times, i feel like any words you would say is a blame for me. Though i really should be the one to be blamed. I fast, and  pray and those were the best I can do those times. I maybe weak, but i am not a coward. I maybe weak to face it through with you, but I am not a coward to turn my back on you. I promised before that i will fight your battles, and just because you are not seeing me while you are fighting it doesn't mean that we are not on the same battle field. You pray, i pray. You cried, i cried. You have been worried, I have been worried, and all of those not because of two different battles we fought, but because of one and similar reason. A sniper may not be at all times seen in the battleground, but is always present and killing the same enemies the thanks are killing. Please be reminded, I am but an ordinary person, but i will never let the words that i have spoken to just be like a decoration of my personality.
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Whenever I pray to God, i always ask him to teach me the lessons I need to know in living this life, teach me lessons in every wrongful act i may commit. And maybe this is one of those lessons i need to learn. (Thank YOU so much dear God!) I guess, bye for now to sweet little thing we call "praktis". Really, what we should be looking forward is our future. What we must aim for is our own star.