My life now is a pile of crap. I've been thinking lately about how do I at least lessen the load I am carrying. I feel like nobody's there, feel like i am all alone. I always smile maybe, always laugh, but it doesn't change the fact that I am not happy. There are so many questions bothering me, how, why, when, what. I do not know what to do except to just keep on moving. God, I am not complaining for all of these, it's just that saying these things to you, i found courage. I am not complaining if you let me do mistakes, for every time i talk to you, I am always asking you to let me learn my lesson from my every mistake. Maybe i have so many things/lessons that i must learn that's why i always commit mistake. God, if i could just be at your side right now, just right now, i want to pour my weakness beside you.
God, up until now where i almost consumed 1/4 of my life, i still do not know the purpose of my existence. If I have a purpose here, grant me wisdom and all that i need to serve my purpose according to your will. but, God, if I do not have any purpose to serve here, please take me already but please don't make it painful.
I don't wanna be the reason of loneliness of others, don't wanna be a problem for others, i don't want to bother others.
Please!
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